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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?